Humor

The hamburger patties, French fries and pretzels tossed into the pool were bad enough. But did a vandal really have to smear mozzarella cheese on the water slide?

Investigators in Mississippi say two men wrapped blocks of wood in duct tape and bubble wrap, attached Toshiba labels and tried to pass them off as laptops.

Livingston Parish sheriff's deputies arrested a man who passed out while allegedly trying to break into a mobile home where an 82-year-old woman was calling 911, crowbar in hand. Deputies said 24-year-old Derrick Gauthreaux of Denham Springs was checked at a hospital Thursday, then booked into the parish jail on one count of attempted burglary.

At 91 years old, the country's oldest mail carrier is finally hanging up his keys after driving more than 1.1 million miles delivering mail in Tennessee. According to the U.S. Postal Service, rural carrier Mancel Prince will make one more lap of his nearly 100-mile route before he retires on Friday in Decherd.

A cell phone store manager in South Florida dissuaded an armed man from robbing the store by telling him Jesus wouldn't approve. Instead of panicking when the suspect pulled a weapon, Nayara Goncalves started talking with him. He was jobless, and the 20-year-old Christian offered to connect him with friends who could help him find work.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says a giant hailstone that fell in central South Dakota has broken U.S. records, even though the man who found it says it melted somewhat while waiting to be evaluated.

Cincinnati police say a speeding driver tried to flee arrest while obeying red lights. Police said a 26-year-old woman was going 78 mph in a 55 mph zone early Friday on Interstate 75 when an officer tried to pull her over. Police said she exited the highway to drive home.

A Florida inmate is suing the man he's convicted of burglarizing, claiming the man and two others roughed him up during a citizen's arrest. Michael Dupree is serving a 12-year sentence for burglary and cocaine possession stemming from a 2007 break-in of a van in St. Petersburg. Dupree allegedly stole a bicycle locked inside and was apprehended after the owner, Anthony McKoy, saw him with the bike down the street.

A rural east Texas man has been reunited with his long-lost gun more than two decades after it was stolen. Kauffman County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Pat Laney says Bruce Garner received his H&R nine-shot revolver at an upbeat property hearing Thursday morning.

As gators go, the one found in a South Carolina lagoon was downright gargantuan. The Island Packet of Hilton Head reported that an 11-foot-long, 500 pound alligator was removed from a lagoon on the resort island on Wednesday. It took three gator wrestlers from the Critter Management company and a truck to pull the gator from the lagoon near a church.

An Okaloosa Sheriff's deputy is on leave after shooting himself in the leg during a training exercise at a firing range. Miguel Rojas accidentally hit himself Tuesday when deputies were forced to use their less-dominant hand to shoot. The 35-year-old caught his finger in the trigger guard while trying to holster his gun. The bullet broke a small bone in Rojas' leg, but the injury didn't require surgery.

Wearing saggy pants is not a crime, just foolish.

A man listed as the oldest living male in Tokyo in fact died some 30 years ago, city officials said after his body was found mummified in his bed.

A partial set of dentures used by former British leader Winston Churchill - described as the teeth that saved the world - sold at auction Thursday for 15,200 pounds ($23,723.)

A package addressed from "Grandpa Henderson" in San Diego to "Grandma Henderson" in Talladega, Ala., wasn't ordinary mail, and it wasn't picked up by any grandmother.

A Maryland man has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for stealing a spider from a public library.

This little kitty went home - but only after Vienna police and firefighters partially dismantled a police car to find it.

A zedonk, an unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra, is attracting attention at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Dahlonega after being born there about a week ago.

The escaped Bengal tiger who captured headlines across South Africa has been found and returned home after a 2-day search, hungry and worse for the wear after a jump from the back of a moving truck, the tiger's owners said Thursday.

An Ohio county has given up on replacing the frequently stolen signs for a rural thoroughfare named "Wildman Road."