Blogs

Anti-Gay Party of Jesus CA State Senator Busted for DUI After Leaving Gay Club

A Party of Jesus State Senator from California, known to frequent gay bars in Sacramento, has been arrested on DUI charges after leaving a gay nightclub with another man, that, well you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

State Senator Roy Ashburn has always opposed gay rights. As a member of the Party of Jesus it is his religious duty to badmouth gays at every opportunity and to exploit the fear of homosexuality to win elections.

The mayor of West Sacramento, an out gay man elected by voters because he is honest, stated in front of TV cameras that he often sees anti-gay Senator Ashburn in gay bars in the company of gay men. Praise Jeebus!

Senator Ashburn, who enjoys the company of a certain sort of man, has always been an outspoken opponent of equal rights for gay men. He is a Roman Catholic, he votes against gay rights during the day and visits gay bars in the evenings. During his daytime career as a not-gay-at-all Party of Jesus legislator he has voted against a law recognizing same sex marriages and against a bill honoring Harvey Milk (source).

Until his DUI arrest with another man in the vehicle he had a talk radio program on a Kern County radio station, oddly since his bust the web link for details of his show produces a 404, not found error.

We expect Senator Ashburn will soon hold a press conference and announce "I am not gay, I never have been gay", after all, he's a Republican.

Maine Voters Set to Choose Between Jesus or Justice

Today, November 3, 2009, voters in the great state of Maine will go to the polls to vote on Question 1, a ballot measure based on California Proposition H8 that would render null and void the legality of same-sex marriage in Maine despite the fact that their "activist" legislature and "activist" Governor passed and signed a law to establish equal marriage rights for all citizens.

Of course among the most prominent sponsors of Question 1 are major Jeebus Industry organizations such as the Holy Roman Catholic Church - which has reduced child rape up to 5% this year, and other self righteous groups who actually believe they have an invisible super pal who lives in a secret compartment concealed behind the sky and cries every time two guys kiss.

There also are some people who do believe in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy yet still think each person should have equal justice under the law, but these are ordinary people who work at honest jobs, not priests who wear dresses, complain about other people's morality, then leer at 12 year old altar boys.

Most religious leaders are still desperately interested in protecting the Sanctity of Bigotry because it gives them an imagined handle on moral superiority and it sure brings in the cash from homophobic parishioners.

And it barely needs to be said that the Republican Party, a/k/a Party of Jesus, would be perfectly happy if they could ride a wave of fear mongering, homophobia, and spiteful innuendo to election victory. It has worked for them in the past.

Will this be the first time in the United States that the Jeebus Industry loses at the polls with one of their piously spiteful ballot measures? As a militant atheist fag I sure hope it will be.

Good luck to the wonderful people of Maine!

Technorati Tags: Question 1, Maine, homophobia, Altar boy rape, catholic priests, Jeebus, Jeebus industry, organized homophobia, same-sex marriage, gay marriage, equal rights, equal justice, Republican, Party of Jesus

Our Lady of the Ugly Stain on a Samoan Wall

The South Pacific nation of Samoa recently switched from driving on the right to driving on the left. Since that has absolutely nothing at all to do with non-existent virgin mothers of fictional deities, people in Samoa who are afflicted with ridiculous religious delusions therefore believe this obvious water stain on the wall of a church is an Apparition of The Holy Virgin Mary, Mother of God, with Perfectly Intact Virginal Hymen. A so-called Marian Apparition, a message from Jeebus’ Mommy, saying, “Oy! watch out with that car, dodo head.” Or maybe it means that her son can see you masturbating. Or it could be just mineral deposits left behind by rainwater, but that’s just a guess that is consistent with the available facts.

The question is “How dumb do you have to be to see a fictional virgin in water marks on a wall?” and the answer is “Catholic.”

We are used to hearing these silly stories from Mexico, Texas, and other areas with a high concentration of people exposed to Mexican culture and superstitions. This is the first case to reach our attention from a Pacific island nation. A New Zealand newspaper says

A week after Samoans prayed en masse for a safe switch to driving on the left, a vision of the Virgin Mary has appeared.

It is also true that this apparition happened about a week after I made that big pot of black bean soup and ended up farting like a racehorse all night. Could it be that the alleged virgin wants me to cut back on the beans, but she missed Palm Springs by about 7,000 miles?

What we have here is an obvious case of pareidolia. People see things they believe exist. People are especially prone to recognize human faces and figures in random patterns of swirls. This is not some mystical virgin with intact hymen and a super-baby, it’s a freekin’ stain on a wall. Jeebus! Like many other such sightings there is a vague resemblance to the shape of a vagina.

Technorati Tags: Samoa, Samoan Islands, Marian Apparition, hymen, vagina, virgin, Virgin Mary, mother of God, Jeebus, driving on left